Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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