it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
