were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
