Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
