Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize