I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
