i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
bring money and cleavage
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Randomize
