I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
