Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
