I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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