you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
