he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
