super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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