Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
