So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
