Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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