Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
