seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
