guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
