who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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