Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
After tacos, we're chasing women.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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