the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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