Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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