Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
