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• (415): View more from California

  I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Oh God

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship

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• (805): View more from California

  before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.

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• (949): View more from California

  this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.

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• (650): View more from California

  So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  drinks after work?

  (1-808): View more from Hawaii

  that question mark offends me.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.

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