i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
is wine microwaveable?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
