do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
