my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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