get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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