Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
