She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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