My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
