i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
