can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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