The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
