there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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