I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
