jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
