Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
