I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
