youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
