how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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