I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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