I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
