What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
