Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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