I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
