my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
