U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
