We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
