i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize