The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
